The World's Worst Theme Parks

Where not to take the kids on your summer vacation.

BY BENJAMIN PAUKER | JULY 4, 2010

Disneyland and Six Flags may conjure up images of log flumes and roller coasters, long lines and egregiously priced cotton candy, but it's not always fun and games. Here are six theme parks where it's more propaganda than Pinocchio, more geopolitics than Goofy.

RED DEAD REDEMPTION

Where: Druskininkai, Lithuania

What: Grutas Park

Step back into the halcyon days of Stalinism, experience the joys of Gulag life, immerse yourself in the warm embrace of totalitarianism -- and when you get a bit peckish, enjoy a tasty meal of "Nostalgija" borscht, "Deer's Eye" cocktail, and "Reminiscence" starch jelly in the cafe. The brainchild of entrepreneur Viliumas Malinauskas, who purchased dozens of statues of communist figureheads left discarded and vandalized in the wake of Lithuania's independence, Grutas Park is actually intended as a reminder of the dark days of totalitarianism. It's not all doom and gloom, though: There's a playground for the kids and the Gulag train, which puts a lovely spin on being sent to Siberia in a cattle car in the dead of winter. Just make sure they haven't read Animal Farm before heading to the petting zoo. 

PETRAS MALUKAS/AFP/Getty Images

 

Benjamin Pauker is senior editor at Foreign Policy.

MAJA007

4:28 PM ET

July 6, 2010

Shijingshan Amusement Park

Have you paid the royalty to the (haha) British Royalty to use English language? Just asking.

American copyright system sadly has become a monopolistic system. The duration of copyright has been increasing obscenely (see mickey mouse law), the scope of copyright increasing (nope. you cannot take photographs in the stadium even after paying $100s in tickets and if you cannot put music in your own home with windows open since that translates to broadcasting without license), and the consumer rights have been decimated.

Don't become a stooge of entertainment lobby.

 

CEOUNICOM

4:46 PM ET

July 7, 2010

...?

So you think blatant and massive copyright is a GOOD thing?

Ever heard of "innovation"? There's a reason copyright exists: its a bloody incentive for people to create things, because then they "own" them. If the Chinese had a single original concept to market, they wouldnt need to copy (admittedly stupid) American theme parks.

Really, what is your point? Copyright is too long? Sure. Maybe. Debatable, depending on what it is. What does that have to do with rampant and shameless copyright violation? Disney is still a highly relevant and successful company in the US, not just because of copyrighting Mickey Mouse, but because of hundreds of different entertainment ventures. Are you suggesting that both their past and present ventures are all moot, and worth bootlegging, simply because they've been around *too long*?

 

MAJA007

12:07 PM ET

July 8, 2010

so what?

What is wrong with copying? In everyday life how many "original" ideas do you come up with? Wasnt the house you built was based on design of an existing house? We as humans copy ideas everyday. It is not a sin.

Coming back to this park, whats the harm? The visitors are probably happy. The creators are happy and disney is not hurt. Whats your problem?

Even disney (or any other studio) does not conjure up their "ideas" from thin air. Almost their every idea is a derivative of some ideas by shakespeare, aesop, bible or some other source. Do they pay royalty to those sources? Arent they "stealing"?

 

THEDOC12

8:33 PM ET

August 1, 2010

I disagree Maja

Let me disagree with you Maja007. I would personally choose to balance things. Copyright is really a good thing to protect people creation. I come from a country where copyright is not a legal thing. In every corner, you will find copy of movies, music, everything you want at very low price. The result, there is a decline in production.

Yvan E. author of Fat Burning Furnace

 

B. ELLI COSE

10:11 PM ET

July 6, 2010

What about Jesus' dinosaur?

Surely this is worth including in the worst theme parks list?

http://creationmuseum.org

 

RINGO

8:15 PM ET

July 27, 2010

A religious Theme Park?

Wow, the idea sounds like an episode of The Simpsons. It would be interesting to see it though!

Ringo Leicht Abnehmen

 

SARK

1:13 AM ET

July 7, 2010

misleading much?

" Bring along your prepubescent chimney sweep -- umm, child -- and show him what decades of welfare spending and the financial crisis has wreaked."

Is this sentence implying that the terrible life the urban working class had was a result of decades of welfare spending? If not, what does it mean? Because that's just... Dumb. Welfare spending didn't start until well after Dickens.

 

CEOUNICOM

4:39 PM ET

July 7, 2010

I am disappointed you didnt include...

The Kingdom of the Little People

http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/dwarf-theme-park-china/story?id=10351483

Formerly known as "Dwarf Zoo".

"""There are only three requirements to work here," said owner Cheng Mingjing. "No infectious diseases, no one older than 50 and no one taller than 4 feet 3.""

The do a version of Swan Lake. It actually doesnt sound so terribly un-amusing... if you like dwarf movies like Time Bandits or Under the Rainbow.

 

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5:30 AM ET

July 10, 2010

Wow the dwarf zoo that kills

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ETHANSULLIVAN26

3:54 AM ET

August 2, 2010

Worst among the worst for me

Worst among the worst for me is the LOVE LAND located in the South Korea. At least, the other theme parks have concepts which are very well-known to everybody. Even if only those people living in that particular place (country).Ethan Sullivan