I Was Almost a Chinese Dating-Show Star

But my episode got censored because foreign guys aren't supposed to get the girl.

BY BENJAMIN HAAS | AUGUST 4, 2010

Several times a day I hear the theme song from If You Are the One, the hit Chinese dating show, blaring from my co-worker's cell phone: It's an embarrassing techno mix with a man's voice wailing, "Can you feeeeel it?!" But what really makes me cringe is something else. It's not the show's blatant materialism, or the Chinese government's aversion to the program. It's the fact that I was once a contestant on the show. A film crew visited my home and recorded an episode for the dating show at Jiangsu Satellite Television in Nanjing. But almost no one but me knows about this bizarre episode, because when it came time for my segment to air, my portion was cut out, censored, or as we say in China, "harmonized."

If You Are the One premiered in January and has since become a national phenomenon. The format is copied from the British dating show Take Me Out. The Chinese version is in your face about money; male contestants will frequently show off their bank statements and luxury cars in an effort to woo interest from a parade of 24 women, who will either pass on them or vie for a date. One memorable female contestant, Ma Nuo, was once asked by a guy if she would like to go on a date with him and ride on the back of his bicycle; she famously responded, "I'd rather cry in the back of a BMW." She has since been banned from appearing on television.

The show's popularity has also been a curse. As ratings went up, so did government scrutiny. In China, popularity and influence go hand in hand, and that makes the government nervous. Previously, a drama discussing topics like China's spiraling real-estate prices and local-government corruption, Wo Ju ("Dwelling Narrowness"), was taken off the air midway through the first season after it began to attract a large following. Or, as the director of If You Are the One told me, "You can say whatever you want in China, as long as you're not influential. The government doesn't care what you say if no one is listening." But if someone is listening, it's a different story.

About two months ago, I applied to be on the show. My Chinese co-worker thought the novelty of being a foreigner would give me a leg up, and he was right. A week later I got a call from the director.

When I arrived at the station, I entered the meeting room and was greeted with familiar signs of China, despite the modern-looking building: A group of men gathered in the corner were chain-smoking, another group playing games on their cell phones. The director's first words to me were a reminder of what I couldn't say. "You can't talk about religion on TV," she said. "China is an officially atheist country, so there is no mention of religion on TV or radio." She also told me I couldn't mention television shows that had been banned, or other potentially controversial topics.

 SUBJECTS:
 

Benjamin Haas is a writer in Nanjing.

LIDAYING

10:00 PM ET

August 4, 2010

"Ultimately, Beijing still

"Ultimately, Beijing still sees television as a tool, not a source of entertainment. That's why foreigners are prohibited from working at any television or radio station, all of which are still owned by the government. "
This is not true, quite a few foreigners work at Chinese TV stations (CCTV English, French, Spanish, russian so on so forth), at Radios too (China Radio International) and at newspapers (China Daily...) all of which are State-owned.

 

NORBOOSE

1:49 PM ET

August 5, 2010

That Doesnt Matter

Noones saying Chinese media is as bad as, say, Soviet media was. However, there is still an extreme amount of censorship. Reporting on events, particularly in the rural, minority-occupied parts of China, is often very selective. The state media works hard to keep poor Han citizens constantly pissed off at Minorities and Foreignors, so they wont start to criticize their own government.

 

MARRIEDTOCHINA

10:08 PM ET

August 4, 2010

Actually a White Guy Did Get the Girl on this Show!

Good article Benjamin, and interesting to know what goes on behind the scenes at the show. Sorry to hear that you're segment git cut, and that you didn't get to see the girl.

However, I have two points to make. ONE: I watched an episode of this show a few months ago on TV here in China and I did see the white guy get the girl. They even showed them chatting in a back room at the end. So the strapline "foreign guys aren't supposed to get the girl" is totally wrong (but that's probably do to with the sub-editor).

TWO: Foreigners can work at TV stations in China. I think you'll find CCTV and ICS (Shanghai) have plenty of of foreign staff, backstage and on camera. True, these are Foreign-focused stations, but they are run, funded and operated by China, so that line "That's why foreigners are prohibited from working at any television or radio station" is misleading.

Look, I'm not some guy singing China's praises, and heaven knows working in the media here is a nightmare for me, but I feel that a magazine such as this should actually do some checking here before posting.

 

CUPLMAN

10:09 PM ET

August 4, 2010

Mr. Haas, Don't judge before

Mr. Haas,

Don't judge before you have the full pic.

A large number of foreigner work for the Enlish media in China. Your entire article is almost based on some gueses and conjectures...which is a shame for such a serious magazine as Foreign Policy. Just because you think you cunningly critisize and embarass the Chinese Gov?

Let me tell you, if your Chinese is good enough, you will find lots of debates concerning the Show If you are the one.

Anyway, we Chinese welcome critisism,--we critisize ourselves more than anyone else-- but not your style, superficial and malicious.

 

CHINABUZZ

2:13 AM ET

August 5, 2010

No foreigners at TV or radio?

Mr. Haas:

There are any number of foreigners working at television and radio stations (and print publications) throughout China. Turn on CCTV-4 or tune in to China Radio International and you'll notice that.

An unfortunate final paragraph, you were pretty much on the money otherwise.

 

PARISHUANG

11:37 AM ET

August 5, 2010

It would be different if a Chinese guys gets a foreign girl

Chinese girls that dates foreigners are often under a lot of pressure. Not only if they are in China, even if they had already moved to other countries and date local people, they might still be deem as "slut", "traitor" by the local Chinese community. Of course, if mostly happens to first generation immigrants, but a lot of second generation Chinese female still get pressure from their parents that they need not marry "foreigners"; even they were born on the "foreign" land and grew up with "foreigners".

But if today it was a Chinese guy gets a foreign girl on the Chinese TV, that would be a very different story. He will be seem as a national pride for all Chinese male, invited to various TV talk shows, a symbol of "Chinese man conquers foreigners, and took away their woman". It might have something to do with Chauvinism, Nationalism, and maybe the heavily propagandized "100 years of humiliation" mindset among Chinese.

 

KEVINBAKER

7:12 PM ET

August 5, 2010

Cool

I never though that Chinese dating show is that fun! It reminds me back then when I used a realistic vagina where I imagine like it was so real!

 

CEOUNICOM

11:10 PM ET

August 5, 2010

No matter who gets the girl...

.. the show is still a pathetic knock-off of stupid western reality TV and game shows going back 40 years (do they have a chinese euphemism for "whoopee"?)

They want to censor the show? Fine. Whatever. Big deal. What is more obvious is that apparently a billion+ Chinese are incapable of a single original idea. Retarded Japanese game shows are at least in their own weird way genuine and idiosyncratic (we have to admit that TV where we make supermodels eat brains or have bees poured all over them are all bites of Japanese game shows; in fact we've never even touched their 'weird' stuff) Shows like this - cheap reproductions of the worst elements of American culture - are just embarrassing. It is the Karaoke (another sort-of Japanese idea!) of media. A fat, drunk, ugly person's version of a bad pop song. I don't know who should be more depressed - the Chinese, who eat this recycled pap up like its ambrosia, or Americans; we who brought such boring and abominable stuff into existence in the first place. Maybe that's not even 100% correct; I think the Dutch invented 'reality' TV; whereas the game show is straight up LA - but who cares? Its like pointing out that all of N'sync and the Backstreet Boys songs were written by a Swedish composer. Garbage is garbage, no matter how many millions suck it up.

I should hope the author realizes (sort of like Anthony Swafford in 'Jarhead') that although he was cut from the final edit, that perhaps his life is better, and that he retains some shred of dignity, because he never actually contributed to such a silly, stupid thing.

 

CHEN KAI WEN

2:00 PM ET

August 9, 2010

CEO UNICOM: do you REALLY know Chinese TV? or China?

I would guess not really. Well, at least not as well as you know Japanese shows about pouring bees on each other and so forth. But, Americans do appreciate different opinions, I think. You know, the same party doesn't win every election like they do in Japan. So, I'm all prepared to accept your cross-cultural criticisms as valid about which pop cultures you find "garbage" and "stupid" and fat, drunk and ugly, IF you tell me which music you like that is oh so much not all those things and better than N'Synch and the Backstreet boys by the proverbial mile and so forth. Thanks, bunky.

 

CEOUNICOM

11:34 PM ET

August 9, 2010

re:

I've been to China. I've been to Japan.

In my view, the japanese have more original stuff, at least not entirely derivative of bad western game shows. 'Original' does not mean good; its just original. Boy bands and dumb game shows are perhaps original, if crap. My point was that what I see/saw coming from China is mostly knock offs of our worst stuff. You want to know what is "good"? My tastes are my own. Perhaps you like rap, perhaps you like classical, perhaps you like rootsy rock, perhaps you like experimental DJ stuff, perhaps you like Euro pop. I don't know and don't care. If you're defending this type of programming, do so rather than simply disregard my personal view as being "typical". Defend it. Go ahead. If you can. I'm not making any nationalistic points. I'm saying its crap TV. Full stop. You want an education in quality music, hit up Itunes or something, subscribe to some music blogs. You don't need me.

 

CEOUNICOM

11:14 PM ET

August 5, 2010

By the way...

I knew a guy named Ben Haas in high school... Scarsdale NY. Pure coincidence I'm sure.

 

CHICANOHEK

10:58 AM ET

August 9, 2010

Chinese Game Show

In 2005 when I lived in Suzhou, I was also approached to participate in a game show at the local broadcasting station. The show was modeled after Jeopardy and was semi popular with the locals. The producer recruited two of my friends which gave us a topic of conversation leading up to the event.
The night before we were called in and given our "guidelines" which was a nice way of saying, "here are the answers, you answer this one, your not to win and this blonde guy is the champ". We made it on TV and people recognized us from it but it didn't mean more opportunities else where nor it I get more dates as a result. When we told people that the show was fake, that we recieved our answers ahead of time, they seemed puzzled and usually responded "how are game shows done in your country!" AFter the game show, I learned that while the wool is being pulled over the Chinese peoples eyes, they know its there.

 

WAZARI2

5:59 PM ET

August 9, 2010

Um...a 15 second YouTube search disproves the premise

Just search YouTube for "Sam Michael on Chinese dating game show":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VZxY6JEXFY

FP editors, do you filter what you publish for nonsense? If not, I've got an uninformed opinion I'd like to share with the world on FP's website next week. If you've got the space, of course.

 

SHUMBODY

3:07 AM ET

August 10, 2010

Wow, this is like Slumdog Millionaire

Does anyone else see the similarity?

 

CHEN KAI WEN

10:21 AM ET

August 10, 2010

I Just Want to Say CEO is okay in my book...

even if he didn't give advice on his musical heroes, which I regret. I think, "think" we agreed that humor and multi-ethnicity is good and self-righteousness and xenophobia is bad. Maybe I'm unhip because I laughed when I saw "Sanford and Son." Anyway, I suspect him of being in reality an American Studies teacher at some American University--which is I would guess an honorable way to make a living as long as you aren't bedding too many coeds...

 

CEOUNICOM

4:00 AM ET

August 17, 2010

re: no sweat

Yes, we agree. No, laughing at Sanford and Son is perfectly OK, but you should keep in mind that it was a pretty progressive and ambitious show in its day. Red Foxx was very, very funny. I am old enough to remember his constant pretend-heart-attacks.

Some music recommendations?

I'm a fan of jazz, funk, blues, hiphop (all american black music), a lot of european classical, and most reasonably-minimalist American rock music (anything with 4 or fewer members), british rock. Nothing too different from the average. Love the Stones, Miles Davis, Jaco Pastorius, the Stooges, The Ramones, The Meters, Allen Toussaint, Lee Dorsey, Wild Magnolias etc. (in fact all things New Orleans...check out the new show "Treme" for fun), John Spenser Blues Explosion, DEVO, Primal Scream, Beck, a wide variety of 80s-90s hip-hop, Mahalia Jackson, Jamaican music ranging from old rocksteady/modern dancehall, Aretha Franklin, Otis Redding (all Stax music, really), Motown, some modern DJ's like DJ Shadow, Diplo, RJD2, etc., black keys, some euro music like The Knife, some swedish bands, and lots and lots and lots of other stuff. Really, lots. I was a working club DJ for about 7 years. I have fairly wide tastes. Good stuff is all over the place. Hall and Oates rocks! ("I can't go for that"?? =

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJVdwZsQ_lU

the ladies love it. Every DJ knows this one is a killer. As Billy Dee would say, "works every time")

I am not an American studies professor at an American University (there is no such thing really; no one studies 'America' properly anyway. Ask your average college grad about the Spanish-American War. They probably won't know what you're talking about)... I am just a kid from NYC. I suppose that just means I'm slightly more 'worldly' than your average american. No one makes better fun of 'American culture' than native New Yorkers, as far as I'm concerned (not NY newcomers; people who grew up here). they ('real americans'; midwesterners) tend to hate us; we tend to make fun of them, or just ignore/not know anything about them. It works out OK, usually. We're all the children of immigrants here, mostly. Mutts. I tend to think of NYC people as being the best representatives of America, sometimes, because we're the ones who have to live pluralism the most closely. But then again, maybe I'm just urban-provincial. The latter is more likely.

 

CHEN KAI WEN

10:21 AM ET

August 10, 2010

...and those coeds? I don't have to say it, do I?

Asian. Aren't they? If I knew how to make that little computer smile sideways I would do it now.

 

NEW_JFK

10:32 PM ET

August 18, 2010

Cleaning up

We actually have to thank white dudes living in China. I must say white dudes will date any Chinese girls to stay in China. When I say any, I mean ANY...BIG FAT UGLY UNSHAVEN UNWAXED BODY ODOUR SMELLING Chinese women. Thanks white dudes, for cleaning up this mess for us. Please invite more of your friends to China. Thank you.