You have two Ibadi cows. No one has any idea what the hell an Ibadi is.

You have 10 cows and believe, without any real basis, that your cows are the biggest and the best in the world at everything. Threaten to destroy the fields, cows and milk of anyone who dares disagree with you and invade anyone who actually does have better cows.

You have one bull and one cow. Only the cow is not allowed to drive.

You have two cows. So does your neighbor. One of your cows die. You kill one of the neighbor's cows because he shouldn't be better off than you.

You have many productive cows (highest yield in the world/cow). Your neighbors resent the fact that you are not muslim and can make lucrative milk products from your tiny patch of desert sand and demand at least half your cows, or they will throw you and your stinking cows into the sea (they will do it eventually anyway). You decide to trust your western friends advice and and give your neighbors half your cows. They immediately kill the cows and proclaim victory over zionism, while simultaneously they plead for food aid and have the highest unemployment figures in the world.

I see every country on that composes the region on this but Algeria and Morocco. They're Arab & Muslim countries too! Let's include them.

Morocco
You have four cows. One is Arab and three are Amazigh. For some reason, you only just noticed the Amazigh ones.

Algeria
You have two cows. They keep losing at cow football.

You have two cows that produce the milk of ten cows. Iraq wants your cows. America also wants your cows, but is less obvious about it. Eventually, you still have two cows, but their grazing land is burnt away.

You have a cow and a bull, bring them to a Kibbutz and watch the herd grow, sell milk for profit. Use proceeds to develop world class educational system and then sell entire herd for investment seed money. Develop social media website and create kibbutzville then retire as IPO sends investment into the stratosphere.

Then watch as stream of visitors from JNF, UJA, Hadassa and Chabad come calling.

Among other things:

RE: Qatar
On the contrary, Al Jazeera not only criticized Saudi Arabia, but the criticized them more frequently than any other country.

RE: Jordan
You have 3 cows and a camel. The camel is controlling everything in the country while the cows are providing all the milk.

You have a dragon and a dozen jackals. The jackals pretend like they're fighting the dragon and keep begging the rest of the world for cows which quickly die of neglect and are then consumed by the jackals. The dragon keeps eating the people.

Israel: you only have one cow but it's sacred. You send it to America where it's worshiped and suddenly you have more of everything including milk than you can possibly use so you begin selling the surplus to China.

In Israel: import as much cows as you could from all over the world -including russia- and teach them hebrew and kill as much as you can from arabic speaking cows. After 63 years of this on-going importing and killing you will be surprized that Arabic speaking cows outnumber their hebrew counterparts!

...oh, never mind, so not worth going there.

You have five cows. The Government nationalizes all of them and refuses to milk them. Under pressure from IMF and World Bank, two are sold to the richest 1% who milk them and add water to double the profits, two are embezzled by the government officials and one held by government as strategic reserve that it continues to refuse to milk. Meanwhile the public continues to worship them and beef remains banned in the country.

You have two cows. You give one to army and another to radical Islamist, who use the milk to buy new weapons to "protect the country" from India. Meanwhile people go without milk.

You have two cows, one is a "radical Islamist" and other a "leftist Indian stooge". At any given time you can milk only one, while the other has to be put in jail. Every ten years, army takes over for a year or two and puts both in jail.

You have one cow and fifteen dairy farmers. The cow stands by idly while the farmers fail to decide whether to make cheese or yogurt or ice cream or butter from the milk.

You have half a cow, which India feeds, milks and watches over, while you are allowed to pretend to be an independent country.

You have two cows. One is killed as a collateral damage in an air strike while the other continues to have the highest education and health rates in the region.

A much better one suggested by a friend: You have two cows. You put them in front of your army on the Indo-Pak border because everyone knows Hindus can't kill cows.

You have 10 cows. They produce so much milk that it overwhelms the world's market and US complains. US retaliate with QE and QE2 and the cows start to revolt because the grass is getting more expensive and they have to produce more milk

Russia is a big cow. Moscow is the milkman.

You have two cows. You use the profits from their milk to buy a poultry farm, a ranch, a stable, a milk processing factory and a large fast food chain. Then you use profits from all those ventures to monitor internet usage of the cows.

You have 2 cows. They are once feared for their milk. Now they are getting on their age, and after all the prime ministers that they have cant milk them much, they abandon the cows

here is another one for iran: you have 2 cows. 1 stayed behind and took on a war fighting against U.S, europe, and the arab world. is still surrounded by enemies from pakistan, to jordan yet still has managed to establish itself as a force to be reckoned with, all this while having choking sanction placed on them. the other cow was a rich spoiled mama's boy who ran to american when things got touch and will do whatever it takes to get the approval and from americans and israelis. will say and do anything just to get a little pat on his head from the white boys. hey karimi, grow a pair!!

you have 2 cows: both are extremely fat and overweight. both are infected with multiple diseases, think they are big bad bulls who can do whatever they want, but the world is laughing at them because everyone knows they are a 3 legged calf barely able to stand up anymore. oh and both are dragging a huge debt that they can't even more.

You have one bull and one cow. The bull has mad cow disease and is continually charging anything that moves. The cow is lesbian and thinks it's the goat's mate and is continually head butting the bull to keep it away from the goat.

Meanwhile the cow is beginning to show signs of mad cow disease too and has begun charging anything that moves while the bull has such an advanced stage of the disease that it's begun wandering around drunkenly in circles.

You claim to have 100 cows, but they really belong to China. You think you have the right to protect all the Cows in the world because you 'think' your the best farmer. So kill, bomb, intimidate and sanction any other farmer to keep all cows safe - but really your just a greedy, arrogant and mad-cow disease infected farmer.

Capitalism: You have 2 cows. Bovine, Inc sues you claiming they already have a patent on cows. Udder Corp sues you claiming they have trademarked the word 'Cow' and you are not allowed to even say that word without written permission from their lawyers. You have to sell both cows to pay for the lawyers to defend yourself.

you have no cows. you claim the Palestinian cows as your "holy cows"and offer the Palestenians cow dung asstaugustinerealestate compensation. you send milk to the US congress in exchange for protecting your right to keep the cows, although you know that that's a bunch of bull.

If you have two cows you let them get married.

You have two cows that more into Palestine where they have two cows. You claim the pasture and land of the Palestinian cows as your own, you justify this because an evil butcher killed 100 of your cows back home. When you force the Palestinian cows out of their pasture, you continue to brutally milk them for all they have and you beat them regularly. When a farmer from another country rightfully criticizes you for this inhumane action, you call them an anti-cowite.

Wow! Drinks and a couple of dinner invitations among Washington circles have some potency. An "intellectual" from Iran drawing parity between cows and people of the middle east; and his defense: Orwell did something similar, so can I!

Well, Karim, there is no question that history of literature is filled with allegory. But those who uttered them had such grand reputation (Ferdowsi, Orwell, etc.) that their wit could not be mistaken for other than what they were meant to.

You, on the other hand, enjoy no such reputation! At best, you rode your family's money and connections to where you are - and this being your curse - your experiences of the people of your country/region of which you often speak are profoundly lacking. If they were not, you would not so often appear on TV clown shows in order to speak about them. But for some reason, you and Maziar Bahari think it's very funny to make a mockery of the plight of the people in the middle east in front of a beer happy audience. I can imagine one of the monologues you may be having after finishing to appear on one of these clown shows: "Yeah! Wait until those political prisoners in Evin find out what I said and did on the talk show tonight. They will know we have not forgotten them, and never will! We are the only chance they've got."

What is happening in the middle east is quite a serious matter. Don't let the breeze from the ocean next to you and the atmosphere of the city that consumes infidelity for breakfast, lunch, and supper fool you into thinking that it's not.

You live and work at the epicenter of a culture that views the people of the middle east as nothing but cattle, and your piece here pays gratuitous homage to that culture of thinking. And when you compare yourself with Orwell, it just means you have been attending one too many cocktail parties in your adopted city that is brimming with hollow and shady characters.

You have two cows, one of them walked by a mosque in Shiraz when it was five years old and today is an Iran and Islam expert in the US, the other dyed itself blond, wears blue contacts, got a nose job and insists on being called "Persian".

Iranian Exiles: You have two cows, one of them is an MI6 agent the other gets fooled by the Revolutionary Guard double agent bull into thinking that there are thousands of guards waiting to overthrow the government in Iran.

Iranian Exiles: You have two cows, one them is a washed up singer who is banking on the green movement to raise her CD sales, the other is just washed up.

You have two cows. They don't give any real milk, but they are extremely well fed because they convince you they are smarter than you and all the other cows.

We’re Bankrupt. The Status Quo Partisan Politics Must End.

Instead of engaging in distracting partisan politics with the status quo politicians that have ruined America, we need to focus on the mortal economic and social dangers that we are now facing because of the ruinous policies of these politicians. Get the truth from my blog. I have a 28 point program to rebuild the American industrial base and to create energy independence. The politicians have no ideas.

America cannot afford to spend debt money on global empire dreams. The 2011 national debt, national current account balance and other economic indicators show that America has a negative net worth of -$58 Trillion. This is the truth that globalists are concealing and is the inevitable result of the globalist export of America's industry to Communist China and other cheap labor countries plus all the ruinous policies of the two globalist controlled parties that now require that the Federal government must beg and borrow $1.65 Trillion a year to add to the present national debt of close to $15 Trillion.

TEN Generations of Americans cannot pay the 2011 national debt, but the politicians still borrow and spend. 47% of American households are too poor to pay income taxes. The American industrial base is only 9% of the economy. There are not enough taxpayers to support a globalist government that is fueled by debt..

In my blog, I expose that over 50% of the total USA military forces are war contractors and that 2/3 of their employees are foreigners. We have wasted $5 Trillion dollars fighting Osama's war strategy to bankrupt America as they did the Soviet Union by bringing it into permanent war in the Muslim world. The war contractors and the other special interest groups are making profits from trillions of debt dollars that we'll be forced to pay.

We have to end the wars and occupations immediately and all foreign affairs, including foreign aid and military alliances. Europe and Korea among many other countries are rich enough to defend themselves. We now have 3 Muslim wars, plus NATO and the rest of the military waste, all follies are financed by debt that we will be forced to pay.

We have a President that starts wars, imposes economic sanctions and other acts of war against countries that he does not like without even consulting Congress. Obama refuses to enforce Federal laws that he does not like, including immigration laws. The Congress is not balancing the power of the Executive or Judicial government branches. It abdicated its Constitutional duties and is just a debating society.

Obama has more power than the President of Communist China. The Chinese President must obtain Communist Party approval for what an American President does in foreign affairs and must enforce all Communist laws. The power of the American Presidency must be limited to the American Constitution or we will lose even more than we have already lost. Our freedom.

Roman Gil
http://roman-gil1.blogspot.com

You and 98 other people in your community tend to a large herd of cows, getting up at 6am to milk them, feed them a few times a day, and stay with them the whole day to make sure they're safe and sound, but they're not your cows; all the cows belong to ONE guy who doesn't tend to cows because he's entitled to all proceeds coming out of the cows and only gives you a small pittance for your work. The one guy's day-to-day work consists of telling you how to care for the cows better for less money, and finding ways for fewer people to tend to more cows.

The guy that owns the cows will then sell you the milk and beef you yourself have produced at a huge profit. You are expected to tend to more cows every year in order to continually raise his profits, and are told that you might one day get more money for it if profits raise by a high-enough margin, but more money never arrives; the guy will instead lower your wages because his profits haven't been as good as he had been hoping for while simultaneously raising his own wages because he did make a profit after all.

If you can't afford as much milk and beef as you did last year because you receive less money, he will lower your wages again and make the milk more expensive because his profits are threatening to grow by a smaller margin than they did in the year before because you are drinking less milk and eating less beef.

The guy also spends a lesser share of every dollar he earns in taxes because he owns all the cows and is therefore a really important person; who would own all the cows, after all, if he wasn't there to own them?

If you don't understand why you spend your whole life tending to the cows just to be able to stay alive and simultaneously growing the fortunes of that one guy who has never milked, fed or slaughtered a cow in his life, he will publically call you a socialist free-loader and the other 98 people tending the cows with you will throw manure at you because they are hoping to maybe, if everything goes well, one day have enough money saved up to buy one cow and become just like the one guy albeit in a different community. None of them knows anyone who actually ever did buy a cow and started his own herd, but they won't have anyone, least of all a socialist free-loader, tell them that they won't ever have any cows of their own.

If the guy owning all the cows is old and wise, he will run for the office of president or senator in order to make new laws that will make it easier for him to make bigger profits and avoid sharing them in the future.
Many former presidents and senators, when they're out of office, also go and buy herds of cows because they have learned that they're a great way to make big profits and avoid sharing them.

You are a cow. The biggest, strongest, fastest cow in your family. Your dumb, fat-ass cow relatives come from around the country to visit you and are afraid to walk around your neighborhood for fear of being eaten, which always happens to cows on TV.

Corporations are the farmer. People are the cows.

The farmer used to treat the cows well because they got from them staggering amounts of the best milk on Earth.

In the last thirty years, the farmer has decided that the cows' meat offers quicker profit than their milk, and junk is more profitable than farming equipment.

Besides, he can get lower quality, cheaper, hormone- and antibiotic-laced milk from five thousand miles overseas and transport it everywhere unsustainably.

So he is flaying the cows' carcasses and turning the most successful dairy farm in history into a junkyard.

Schmuck.

The guy also spends a lesser share of every dollar he earns in taxes because he owns all the cows and is BrainwaveEntrainment therefore a really important person; who would own all the cows, after all, if he wasn't there to own them?

In the united States you have two cows one of them democratic and the other is republican, no matter the shit they do inside both of them will be loyal to Israel

i wish i could laugh but it seems that genocide haunts your very spirits until today.

You have two cows. You worship both of them.

The man that owns the cows will sell the milk and beef you have produced in a huge profit. You're likely to often more cows each year to be able to continually raise his profits, and therefore are told which you may eventually have more money for this if profits raise with a high-enough margin, but more income never arrives; the man will instead decrease your wages because his profits weren't just like he'd been dreaming about while simultaneously raising their own wages while he made an income in the end.

If you cannot afford just as much milk and beef while you did this past year since you receive less cash, he'll decrease your wages again making the milk more costly because his earnings are threatening to develop solar photovoltaic panels with a smaller margin compared to they did around before since you are drinking less milk and eating less beef.

The man also spends a smaller share of each and every dollar he earns in taxes while he owns all of the cows and it is therefore a very important person; who does own all of the cows, in the end, if he wasn't there to possess them?

How a couple of cows explain a changing region: equal opportunity offender edition. you have 2 cows: both are extremely fat and overweight. both are infected with multiple diseases, think they are big bad bulls who can do whatever they want, but the world is laughing at them because everyone knows they are a 3 legged calf barely able to stand up anymore. oh and both are dragging a huge debt that they can't even more. lawyer Do Hungarians then want to perceived as Western/ Central Europeans? They are actually, at least their elites are, Asian. They were the first Central Asian Nomads to move westwards. We, Kalmyks, were the last ones. So, I feel this cultural connection to the Hungarians and will be disappointed to hear that they want to be full-fledged Western Europeans....