The planets are out of alignment in India
The U.S. ambassador to New Delhi informed Indian Foreign Secretary Shivshankar Menon "that he will go on a hunger strike until the UPA government submits the IAEA safeguards agreement to the Board of Governor," according to a 2008 cable. In a separate meeting, the U.S. envoy noted "that the alignment of Jupiter and Saturn in April would prevail on the Board to look more favorably on the [nuclear] agreement."
The cable continues in that vein for almost 1,000 words, discussing planetary alignments' effects on Indian politics and requesting $250 million to rotate the U.S. chancery 90 degrees, in order to provide more sunlight and eliminate shade, "which darkens the U.S. perspective towards India."
Had the U.S. ambassador drunk a spiked mango lassi before sending the cable? Not quite -- the explanation for this new age mumbo-jumbo lies in the cable's date: April 1. "Happy April Fool's Day from Incredible India!" it concludes.
RAVEENDRAN/AFP/Getty Images

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