Feature

Grand Ayatollah or Grand Old Party?

Who said it: Iranian Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei or U.S. Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum?

One is a religious fanatic railing against secularism, the role of women in the workplace, and the evils of higher education, as he seeks to impose his draconian moral values upon the state. The other is the supreme leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Despite his losses on Tuesday, Feb. 28, in the Arizona and Michigan primaries, former Sen. Rick Santorum is plowing ahead with his campaign to be president of the United States. Given that he lost by only 3 percentage points to Mitt Romney in the former governor's home state, it is safe to say that the GOP contest is far from over.

As we move ahead to Super Tuesday -- March 6 -- and what could be the deciding factor in this overlong primary season, Santorum still has one last chance to pull off an upset. If that happens, the former senator from Pennsylvania may finally get his chance to bomb Iran, as he has promised to do.

But before that happens, let us pause for a moment and become a bit more familiar with the dramatis personae who, if given the opportunity, may soon plunge the world into holy war.

It's time to play: Khamenei or Santorum? Who said what?

Can you guess which of the two said the following? No cheating!

1. "We were put on this Earth as creatures of God to have dominion over the Earth." 

Answer 1: Santorum

2. "We believe in democracy and we also believe in freedom, but we do not believe in liberal democracy."

Answer 2: Khamenei

3. "Although the literal meaning of socialism is equitable distribution of wealth, it is associated with other concepts which we hate. Over time, socialism has come to be associated with certain things in society that are unacceptable to us."

Answer 3: Khamenei

4. "The radical feminists succeeded in undermining the traditional family and convincing women that professional accomplishments are the key to happiness."

Answer 4: Santorum

5. "This is not a political war at all. This is not a cultural war. This is a spiritual war."

Answer 5: Santorum

6. "This is a war between two willpowers: the willpower of the people and the willpower of their enemies."

Answer 6: Khamenei

7. "Go back and read what the sirens did once you arrived on that island.… They devour you. They destroy you. They consume you."

Answer 7: Santorum

8. "The American people's hatred for Iran is profound." Oh wait, we got that one backward. Sorry. It should read:

8. "The Iranian people's hatred for America is profound."

Answer 8: Khamenei

So, how did you score?

7-8 correct: Supreme leader

5-6 correct: Religious warrior

3-4 correct: Agnostic

1-2 correct: Radical secularist

0 correct: You make me want to throw up.

Thanks for playing!

BEHROUZ MEHRI/AFP/Getty Images

Rainier Ehrhardt/Getty Images

Feature

Mad Libs: War Edition

What's on the horizon for warfare in 2012? FP asked some of the world's top experts to fill in the blanks.

THE MOST OVERLOOKED NATIONAL SECURITY THREAT TO THE U.S. IS

U.S. economic decline. —Thomas Bowditch, Paul Kapur, Edward Luttwak * The global proliferation of cheap surface-to-surface and surface-to-air missles. —Spencer Ackerman * A weak China. —Kristen Lord * Gun swarms. —John Arquilla * Christian extremism. —George Perkovich * Saudi Arabia's fragility. —Peter W. Singer * Cyberattacks. —Robert D. Kaplan * The spread of precision-guided weaponry and supporting capabilities. —Thomas Mahken * Overreactions to security threats. —Benjamin H. Friedman * Pandemics. —David Barno * WMDs. —Frank Carlucci * Global warming. —John Nagl * The deficit. —Ian Livingston * Our inability to learn from our past mistakes. —Christopher Preble

 

AL QAEDA IS

Weakened but still lethal. —Robert D. Kaplan * Sliding toward strategic defeat. —Graham Allison * Dangerous, vulnerable, but still persistent. —Thomas Bowditch * Yesterday's terrorist problem. —Erik Dahl * Nearly defunct. —David Barno * Through as an organization, but still alive as an organizational concept for other groups. —Thomas Keaney * Dead. —Edward Luttwak * Like Godfather's Pizza: It was never that successful, but we are likely to hear from nutjobs who were part of it for years to come. —Peter W. Singer * Toast. —Donald M. Snow * Losing the war of ideas among Muslims. —Kori Schake

 

THE EXAMPLE OF PENTAGON BLOAT THAT MAKES ME ANGRIEST IS

The F-35. —John Arquilla ("A trillion dollars for a new fighter, when we've had only one fighter shot down by an enemy fighter in 40 years, is a sheer waste."), Thomas H. Johnson, Paul Kapur, Barry Posen, Peter W. Singer * The preposterous number of U.S. aircraft carriers. —William Rosenau * Billions of dollars in the last 10 years on canceled weaponry. —David Barno * The Pentagon is no more bloated than any federal agency. —Jamie M. Fly * The number of people and size of headquarters. —Robert Cassidy * The large bases in Afghanistan. —Carter Malkasian * U.S. Special Operations Command. —Edward Luttwak * Its inability to complete an audit. —Christopher Preble

 

BARACK OBAMA'S BIGGEST MISTAKE AS A WARTIME PRESIDENT HAS BEEN

Tripling down in Afghanistan. —Graham Allison * The premature withdrawal of the surge forces from Afghanistan. —Peter Mansoor * Not getting out of Afghanistan faster. —Donald M. Snow * Letting his reelection campaign affect his decision-making. —Robert D. Kaplan * His overly rapid drawdown from Iraq. —Kenneth M. Pollack * His slow response to the Arab Spring. —Kristin Lord * His failure to stand up to the military and act as his own chief strategist. —John Arquilla * Thinking of himself as a peacetime president. —Danielle Pletka

 

THE BEST NATIONAL SECURITY IDEA OF THE REPUBLICAN CAMPAIGN IS

Mitt Romney's plan to increase naval shipbuilding from nine new major warships per year to 15. —Robert Haddick * Ron Paul's proposition that the U.S. is not the solution to every international problem. —Graham Allison * Jon Huntsman's call for a quicker-than-planned withdrawal from Afghanistan. —John Deni * A strong and well-trained U.S. military is the world's best guarantee of peace. —Peter Mansoor * The willingness to review Pentagon spending. —Richard Kohn * Still waiting to hear one. —Linda Robinson

The opinions here are those of the respondents alone.