The Final Four
In the contests among the top eight contenders, the United States defeated Israel because, well, Israel without the support of the United States would not be the same. (Following the defeat, President Barack Obama did however say that the United States would always be a friend to Israelis even if we did have to tend to our own interests in a way that ultimately undercut their aspirations. This alarmed some Israelis, who feared the remarks might one day resonate in the real world.)
This set up a match between the Americans and the Great Khan, from whom the Japanese women fled (for good reason) without putting up a contest. This was after they learned of the fact that DNA evidence showed that as many as 16 million people living today were descendants of the prolific conqueror and his harem of 2-3000 women -- an intimidating record by any measure.
Meanwhile, the boys from Milan High defeated Diocletian because while he had Roman legions, they had the irascible but brilliant guidance of their coach, played by Gene Hackman. (And it is well known that almost no one from any era beats Hackman in his prime.) For their troubles, the Hoosiers were awarded a match against those coolly rational socialist financial wizards from the Swedish banking system.
The Final
America may be the powerhouse of its day, but Genghis Khan ruled the greatest empire of all time and he did it without the benefit of nukes or drones while riding on horseback and living on yak's milk.
On the other side of the final: the Hoosiers. The boys from Milan High beat the Swedes, who had no outside game and nothing like the free-throw accuracy of the under-handed shooters from rural Indiana.
Unfortunately for them, those plucky, corn-fed upstarts then faced the man who conquered most of Eurasia, linked East and West as never before, and was so ruthless that in Iran alone, his victims were so numerous that the country did not reach pre-Mongol population levels until just a few decades ago -- 800 years after his death.
And so the final result: Khan rules. The Cinderella story that began in China ends there as well. Read into that what you will, sports fans.
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